Back from My Hiatus

I can’t believe it has been over a year since I last wrote on the blog. Sometimes you need to take some time off screens and social media for your mental health (and existential or midlife crisis) even if it costs you some social media engagement. What a modern-day conundrum.

It’s September! Can you believe it? The heatwave in LA has been brutal. I can’t deal with 95-100 degree heat. I’m ready for fall. Give me some cozy sweaters, jackets, soup, and a little romance already.

It rained really hard for one day last week, and all of Los Angeles went nuts. It’s like we’ve never seen rain before. You’re not a true Angeleno unless you posted about it on social media (which I did). I loved it! It was magical. While many people stayed inside that day, I put on my big girl rain boots and rain jacket and headed out to take my car for a nature wash, as one does when it rains in LA. And naturally, I picked up some matcha and a breakfast sandwich, which is always a treat.

Summer is now officially over and mine was quite eventful. I got to see my family in Boston. Both of my sisters were in town, plus my stepbrother and his family from Paris. We spent a few days in Rockport at the beach, and I got to spend a lot of time with my nephews and niece. I love them so, so much. They are such funny little humans. Being an auntie is truly the best.

Then I got sick with laryngitis, a sore throat, and a cold, and returned home sick for a second month in a row. I hadn’t gotten sick in a year and then all of a sudden, I was sick twice this summer, back to back. It was exhausting.

On a much more exciting note, I finished the manuscript for my memoir cookbook. And I have to say, I’m really proud of myself. This has been a years-long project, a very emotional one, and it took a lot of work and perseverance to get here. I experienced many setbacks this summer, and while I’m close to the finish line, there is still more to go. There are always new challenges. Now I’m into the design stage, but I keep finding more things I want to edit or fix. It’s never-ending. You could edit something forever, but that doesn’t necessarily make it better. Sometimes you can actually make it worse. It’s a fine line.

At some point, you just have to walk away and let it out into the world. That has been the hardest for me to do. Getting to this stage was hard enough, and there are still so many decisions left to make. I’m in the early stages of design approval, and you would think this part would be easier. But there are countless micro-decisions to be made (like font, color, text size), and I’m honestly just over making every decision on my own. That’s the thing with creating something on your own. You are ultimately responsible for everything.

I think I’m just exhausted from this marathon of a project, so every little decision can feel overwhelming. I’m trying not to let it consume me. Maybe it will get easier as I move further along the design phase and develop a better sense of my aesthetic vision. Even if I’m not done done, I can still celebrate each milestone. It’s easy to get caught up in the to-do lists, insecurity, and doubt. Of course I worry that what I created isn’t “good enough.” But I was brave enough to start this journey and see it through. I created something meaningful that I can share with my family. Hopefully, the stories and recipes also resonate with other first-generation Cambodian Americans. And if more people enjoy it, then that’s a bonus. I need to hold onto that feeling and celebrate it more.

I’ll have to write some more catch-up posts about some of the travel adventures I had over the last year that brought me some joy. Because if I don’t document it (and share my travel tips), did it really even happen? 😊