Life Update

I can sometimes be a sensitive little bunny. I overanalyze things, replay stuff in my head, and sometimes create stories that don’t exist. I can be histrionic, melancholic, empathetic, and deeply affected by my surroundings. I sometimes need reassurance and validation from others. So you can imagine giving up on corporate life and pursuing a personal dream has not been easy for me!

Thinking back on this journey, I didn’t have faith in myself, but somehow (I really have no idea how), I kept persisting and moving forward. And now I’m in year 3 of independently working for myself with 70 recipes, pages of creative memoir stories, and dozens of social media partnerships under my belt. And I’m happy to announce, after turning down a direct publishing offer a couple months ago, I have officially signed with a literary agent! I have to stop for a minute and show myself some love. I never thought I would find an agent that is as passionate about my memoir cookbook as I am. But I found her! I’m in the home stretch and hopefully am on my way to getting published soon!

The last year and a half have not been easy with the pandemic. There have been lots of lows and then small highs or more like mediums and then back to lows again with me questioning whether things would ever get better. During the last couple months I started to feel bouts of intense self-negative talk, existential confusion, and lack of direction. I had finished all of my cookbook writing and didn’t have a concrete plan for what was next for me. I couldn’t find a new client for my consulting business and had gotten lots of rejections from literary agents. I sulked alone in my dark pit for awhile and then forced myself to be social as an attempt to rescue myself. I was ready to admit defeat and accept all the failed outcomes in my life, but then things began to turn around. Within less than 2 months, four literary agents expressed interest in my cookbook, I got a new client for my consulting business, and landed a new social media partnership with a brand I love! I basically have 3 jobs. It’s complicated but also fun to be able to mix things up.

Sometimes my little heart can’t handle the emotional rollercoaster that is life. I’m not good at riding the waves. In fact, I can’t swim so it makes riding the waves a little harder and scarier. Everything passes though—the good, the bad, and the ugly—and you just gotta learn how to roll with all the punches. I am trying to get better at letting go and not attaching myself to certain outcomes. Hope for the best, and just keep moving forward, and whatever happens, happens. And when I haven’t been able to handle my emotions lately, I’ve indulged in donuts and cake. A sweet treat really does help!

My life isn’t perfect. I don’t have everything that I desire. But in this moment, I’m feeling good and I’m going to sit with this feeling of pride, love, and gratitude for a bit.

Cambodian Pickled Watermelon Rinds

Summer is officially here! For me, this means that I get to eat lots of watermelon! I love watermelon! The fruit is so juicy and refreshing in the heat. And you can pickle the leftover rinds. It’s not only delicious but resourceful. If you love pickles, you will love this recipe. These pickled watermelon rinds are crunchy and a little sweet and spicy.

In Cambodian cuisine, pickled vegetables or fruit are paired with grilled meats and rice. It’s also often served at BBQs and street festivals. I love pickles and enjoy eating it alone as a snack. I can finish an entire jar of pickled watermelon rinds on my own. It’s so good. Try the recipe below. Also, check out my Cambodian Pickled Watermelon Rinds Instagram Reel to see the video of me making it. Enjoy!

Ingredients:

·       3 cups of watermelon rinds

·       ¼ cup + 3 tbsp white vinegar

·       ½ cup + 2 tbsp filtered water

·       1 tsp fish sauce (optional)

·       3 tsp sugar

·       1 tsp salt

·       4 garlic cloves, 2 crushed and 2 minced

·       1 bird’s eye chili pepper, deseeded and thinly sliced, or red pepper chili flakes

Directions:

Clean leftover watermelon rinds. Remove the outer green layer of skin. Cut rinds into 1¼ - 1½ inch long and ¼ inch wide segments.

Place the watermelon rinds in a large bowl and mix with sugar, salt, and fish sauce.  Gently massage with hands and let sit at room temperature for 15 minutes.

Add chili, garlic, vinegar, and water and then stir.

Pour the watermelon rinds and liquid mixture into a jar. Loosely cover the jar with a lid. Let it sit on the countertop at room temperature for about 2 hours. Then tighten lid and refrigerate overnight and then serve.

Fun Facts

Hi friends!  It has been awhile since I shared some info about myself so I thought I would divulge some fun facts:

• My parents survived the genocide in Cambodia

• I was born in a refugee camp in the Philippines before coming to the USA when I was a month old

• Raised by a single mother ‍

• I am an immigrant and an American and proud of it

• Grew up in Boston but don’t really follow any of the sports teams

• I’m an introvert, Scorpio, and a lefty!

• I am an INFJ on the Meyers Briggs test, which makes up 1% of the population

• I love love love to travel but hate to fly

• I have 2 sisters. I’m the middle child. My stepfather and 3 stepbrothers are from France. We are basically the Asian Brady Bunch

• I get scared all the time. Lots of things worry me, scare me, and stress me out. But I try to do all of those things anyway

• I love the desert

• I have twin star tattoos on my left wrist in memory of my maternal grandparents ⭐️⭐️

• I quit my corporate job in fashion to pursue my passion project of creating a cookbook of my mom’s recipes and it has been a really hard but amazing journey

• I love love love Excel, is that strange?

• I am def no princess.  I am a woman warrior like my mom

Ok, I just shared a lot about myself! Now tell me something unique about you! ️

Time to Get Cookin' Again

After spending the month of January mainly combing through my photos and recipes (and also distracting myself with organizing my apartment the Marie-Kondo way), I made a list of outstanding recipes that I need to finally attempt to make or redo. This month of February has been nonstop cooking and recipe tweaking.

I’ve decided that I needed to kick my own ass into high gear. Maybe I’m being hard on myself but I really feel like I slacked off in January. In the past, I’ve worked hard (late hours, skipped meals, no breaks) for other companies when I was accountable to someone else. Why can’t I work just as hard, if not harder, for myself and hold myself accountable? It’s easy to make up excuses for yourself. This month, I decided I have no excuses. I’ve taken time off of working, walking away from a full-time salary in the fashion industry to pursue this passion project of creating a cookbook based on my mom’s Cambodian recipes. I can’t just allow myself to dilly dally while being unemployed. This is not a vacation.

So I have set up some rules for myself this month. No TV during the day. If I need to stop working to eat, then I need to be on my phone, working on expanding my Love in My Belly Instagram following and/or creating new content to share. If I need to take a break, then I have the option of doing squats, crunches, or I can go for a walk. If I need to mix things up, I can write a blog post (like right now) or work on writing some stories for the cookbook. I need to work nights and weekends even if I have social plans (which I really have not had a lot of lately). No feeling sorry for myself for not being social. Work instead, and be proud of what I have accomplished that day for my passion project.

As a result of these new rules for myself, I’ve worked every day for the last 3 weeks. I have also been juggling some fashion consulting Excel projects on the side. I’m exhausted. I have been having back spasms too. I think it may be from running around, sitting at my dining table all day, and probably stress. I think I’ve gotten a little loopy as well. I’ve done some strange things like leave my keys in my door knob, left the oven on all night, and put a baking sheet lined with aluminum foil in the oven without the frozen pizza. Maybe taking a day off would be helpful. I went from one extreme to the next. I don’t want to lose my momentum. I’m committed to working every day for the month of February and I’m going to stick to it. However, maybe I can still honor my commitment while also being kinder to my body and allow myself some longer breaks. This afternoon I have an appointment for a body massage, which I’m pretty excited about. I normally don’t indulge in those types of treats very often but these back spasms have been quite uncomfortable.

It has definitely been a productive month so far—running around to 5 different grocery stores sometimes in 1 day, making a mess in my tiny kitchen, lots of dishes, calls with my mom (sometimes 3-5 times a day to walk through recipes), taking photos on my balcony (and sometimes fighting with a squirrel that sometimes creeps up on me during my photo shoots), editing photos, editing recipes, writing new recipes, searching for new props, working on consulting projects, growing my Instagram, learning how to create my first media kit, etc etc. And you know what? I worked hard and I actually feel like I worked hard and that I am deserving of saying that about myself. I didn’t feel that way about myself in January at all. I am proud of the new recipes I tried this month. Some of them were really difficult and I need to redo them still but the fact is, I did them. I didn’t resist. I didn’t make up excuses. I just made them. I ignored feelings of doubt and discouragement that would sometimes creep into my thoughts, and just did it, even if I was feeling lazy or tired. Some of the dishes didn’t come out exactly right, which can be frustrating. That’s okay though because each trial and error is one step closer to the final product. I will get there.

Goodbye 2017!

How many of you were ready to say goodbye to 2017?  I definitely was ready!  2017 was a challenging year for me.  But I believe that everything that needed to happen in my life happened because I had some lessons I still needed to learn.  Even though 2017 started out a little rough, it ended very nicely... I am so grateful that all of the decisions I made last year led me to Boston for 3 weeks to cook with my mother.  It is not often we get an extended amount of time to spend with our mothers as adults!  Even though I felt like a child again living back at home (and I probably stressed my mom out), the time I had with her this past December was very special.  I also fell back in love with Boston (although, I did not fall in love with the cold).  I was fortunate to get to witness this winter's first snowfall, enjoy a white Christmas, eat delicious food, cook with my mother, read bedtime stories to my nephew, host a small baby shower for my older sister, catch up with my old high school friend, reconnect with an old college friend, reunite with friends that I made in Costa Rica last July on a yoga retreat, and surprisingly, make a new friend in the short amount of time I had in Boston.  I felt ready for 2017 to end but I also felt nostalgic to say goodbye as I reflected on that journey. 

2018, I am ready for you!!!