Life Update
I can sometimes be a sensitive little bunny. I overanalyze things, replay stuff in my head, and sometimes create stories that don’t exist. I can be histrionic, melancholic, empathetic, and deeply affected by my surroundings. I sometimes need reassurance and validation from others. So you can imagine giving up on corporate life and pursuing a personal dream has not been easy for me!
Thinking back on this journey, I didn’t have faith in myself, but somehow (I really have no idea how), I kept persisting and moving forward. And now I’m in year 3 of independently working for myself with 70 recipes, pages of creative memoir stories, and dozens of social media partnerships under my belt. And I’m happy to announce, after turning down a direct publishing offer a couple months ago, I have officially signed with a literary agent! I have to stop for a minute and show myself some love. I never thought I would find an agent that is as passionate about my memoir cookbook as I am. But I found her! I’m in the home stretch and hopefully am on my way to getting published soon!
The last year and a half have not been easy with the pandemic. There have been lots of lows and then small highs or more like mediums and then back to lows again with me questioning whether things would ever get better. During the last couple months I started to feel bouts of intense self-negative talk, existential confusion, and lack of direction. I had finished all of my cookbook writing and didn’t have a concrete plan for what was next for me. I couldn’t find a new client for my consulting business and had gotten lots of rejections from literary agents. I sulked alone in my dark pit for awhile and then forced myself to be social as an attempt to rescue myself. I was ready to admit defeat and accept all the failed outcomes in my life, but then things began to turn around. Within less than 2 months, four literary agents expressed interest in my cookbook, I got a new client for my consulting business, and landed a new social media partnership with a brand I love! I basically have 3 jobs. It’s complicated but also fun to be able to mix things up.
Sometimes my little heart can’t handle the emotional rollercoaster that is life. I’m not good at riding the waves. In fact, I can’t swim so it makes riding the waves a little harder and scarier. Everything passes though—the good, the bad, and the ugly—and you just gotta learn how to roll with all the punches. I am trying to get better at letting go and not attaching myself to certain outcomes. Hope for the best, and just keep moving forward, and whatever happens, happens. And when I haven’t been able to handle my emotions lately, I’ve indulged in donuts and cake. A sweet treat really does help!
My life isn’t perfect. I don’t have everything that I desire. But in this moment, I’m feeling good and I’m going to sit with this feeling of pride, love, and gratitude for a bit.