Annual Birthday Trip: Maui

Every year, I travel for my birthday. I started this tradition in 2018 because I just didn’t feel like hosting dinners anymore. Not that there’s anything wrong with hosting dinners, but it was starting to feel awkward as I got older because of combining different friend groups who don’t really mesh and not wanting to leave anyone out. In those situations, it’s difficult as a guest to mingle when you’re seated at a big table, stuck talking to the stranger sitting next to you. I always feel weird having my friends pay for me. My new tradition has been more fun because I get to pick a different destination every year. I’ve done a few yoga retreats on my birthday, and some of those have been enjoyable, but those are a week long and don’t give you as much flexibility for exploring, so I’ve stopped doing them. Sometimes friends have joined me on my trips, sometimes I’m solo. Either way, I’m exploring somewhere new and that’s always a great way to spend a birthday. This year, I chose Maui.

In the past, my birthday trips have been a week long. But I had just come back from traveling to Europe in Sept for a week, and didn’t feel like another week long commitment. I wanted a short relaxing escape. I decided on Maui because it’s not too far from LA. I could do a short, easy, low-planning 3-day trip. Plus, I had been before and had done all the touristy things. This time, I wouldn’t feel the pressure to see the whole island. I could spend more time relaxing. I knew that I wanted to base myself in Wailea this time because I hadn’t really explored that area before. It’s known for it’s luxury resorts. I am always hesitant to commit to a locations or hotel I’m unfamiliar with. Usually, when I travel, I’ll split my stay up at one budget-friendly area and then splurge on a nicer hotel. It makes staying at the nicer hotel that much sweeter.

For my first 2 nights, I stayed at Maui Coast Hotel in S. Kihei, which neighbors Wailea. This area is the more budget friendly for those who want to spend time in Wailea. It was decently priced and spacious. They have a pool, but I didn’t use it at all because I was out exploring. The room was the first one closest to the entrance on the first floor, so it was a bit loud. The back patio was a view of the parking lot. Not the best room! But I guess, you get what you pay for! Make sure you request an upper floor that doesn’t have a view of the parking lot or pay a little more for a better room. The receptionist made it sound like she gave me a complimentary upgrade because I was in the newer building, but the room location did not feel like an upgrade at all. However, this would not deter me from staying here again. Overall, the room was nice, clean, spacious, and comfortable. The room also had a fridge and a microwave. The hotel is located across the street from the beach and within walking distance of local restaurants. In addition, they offer free shuttle service and pick up within a 5 mile radius of the hotel. That was a nice benefit that I took full advantage of because I went to Wailea everyday. I didn’t spend much time at the hotel, which is why I’m glad I chose to stay at a budget friendly spot for the first two nights.

Straight from the airport, I headed to Sugar Beach Bake Shop because I wanted to try their famous malasadas, particularly the ube and coconut filled ones. Sadly, they sold out by the time I got there around 12:30pm. They say that I need to come before 10am, but I didn’t want to Uber/Lyft specifically there for a donut later because the donut would end up costing $30-$40 with the roundtrip car ride. The reason I had chosen to go straight from the airport was because it was on the way to the hotel, but too far out of the shuttle radius to go from the hotel on another day. I was disappointed, and instead went next door to the famous Ululani’s Hawaiian Shaved Ice and it was fantastic. I now get the hype of shaved ice. I didn’t understand what was so exciting about ice before. It’s so finely shaved that it tastes like ice cream with the house-made flavoring/syrup! I like the coconut and mango flavors with the snow cap (condensed milk) and mochi topping.

After checking into Maui Coast Hotel and freshening up, I took their shuttle to South Maui Gardens. I had never been before, but saw images of it on Tiktok and really wanted to try it out. It’s so cute! A zen garden with lots of buddha statues, giant life-size games, a tortoise sanctuary, live entertainment (including hula shows), picnic tables, play area, and a variety of food trucks. I specifically wanted to try Kitoko’s because of the images I had seen on Instagram and it did not disappoint! It’s a fancy food truck with creative flavors and beautiful presentation. I enjoyed their crispy pork belly with Japanese sweet potato gnocchi and their grilled shrimp with papaya salad. I wish I could have tried more of their menu because everything sounded appetizing and interesting. I loved the garden seating. It was such a relaxing and peaceful vibe. I definitely recommend checking out South Maui Gardens. Because they have hula shows and live entertainment, I think it’s a great affordable alternative to going to a luau.

Next, I decided to have drinks at The Andaz Hotel. I had read that it has a great view from their Lehua Lounge. While it does have a great view, Lehua Lounge is just a poolside bar. Very casual and very average drinks. Great unobstructed panoramic view though! You could also get a great view from Miromoto’s at The Andaz if you dined there and got a table outside. But I didn’t want to eat there and the bar area of the restaurant does not face the view. Instead, I decided to go to Monkeypod for dinner and sat at the bar, and wow, was it packed and lively at 6:30pm! It was so fun though! A man sitting next to me was celebrating his birthday solo that night so we bonded over our shared November birthday week and both got free pie for dessert. I would recommend Monkeypod for dinner one night and skip out on Lehua Lounge. Monkeypod doesn’t have a view though, but it would be a fun casual dinner spot for after sunset. The food and cocktails were pretty good.

On day two, I woke up early and took the shuttle to Island Gourmet Market at The Shops at Wailea. It’s right behind The Marriott hotel. Picked up an iced matcha latte and walked the Wailea Beach coastal path by cutting through The Marriott Hotel. It’s such a beautiful walk and you pass by all the luxury resorts. I walked through some of the hotels and they are quite overwhelming. You could get lost in them! Wailea beach was so nice and the water was so warm and calming. I live in Los Angeles, but I never go to the beach. I don’t consider myself a beach person, but a beach on vacay just hits differently, ya know? I didn’t think about work once. I didn’t think about anything stressful. I felt so at peace. Afterwards, I walked back to The Shops at Wailea. I wanted to get another iced matcha at the Maui Matcha stand, but didn’t feel like waiting in line. I had expected more places to carry good matcha options because Hawaii is closer to Japan, but it wasn’t on a lot of menus. I went back to Island Gourmet Market because my sister wanted me to pick up Piaca Pineapple Shortbread Cookie with fruit filling. I love grocery stores and this place has so many goodies! You can pick up pre-made packaged food (salads, sushi, rice bowls) or made-to-order food, as well as charcuterie and fresh fruit for a picnic on the beach or to bring back to your hotel. They also carry souvenirs and alcohol.

That second night, I went on the most magical Sunset Dinner Cruise with Kai Kanani Sailing. They do hotel pick up from most hotels in Wailea or can pick you up from their office in Wailea. This tour group is a great option for those staying in Wailea. If you’re staying in West Maui, it’s better to look for a different tour group so you don’t have to drive far. Kai Kanani provides van transportation for everyone to Maluaka Beach close by, where we board a catamaran. It’s a 2 hour cruise where they serve you cocktails and dinner. On our cruise, we were surrounded by at least a dozen whales swimming around us. It was a bit early for whale season and this wasn’t even a whale watching tour, so this was the best surprise! On the last supermoon of the year too! I don’t think I’ve ever been a whale person, but I was probably the most excited person on the boat! It was so beautiful to see these large creatures swimming as the sun was setting over the water. What an unforgettable experience! You’ll have to watch my videos on Instagram of the whales and of my whole trip. I have a dedicated highlight for Maui in my Instagram bio.

After the cruise, I stopped at The Birdcage for drinks. It’s located in Hotel Wailea and is basically their lobby lounge. It is shaped as a birdcage and lovebirds (actual birds) do come into the open-air bar and sing. But since I got there closer to 6:30pm after the sun had just set, most of them had gone to bed. This bar would have been the perfect option to watch the sunset. The view is not as unobstructed as The Andaz, but definitely a better vibe with better cocktails. I just loved the idea of sitting with lovebirds singing around you as you watch the sunset.

On my 3rd day, my last day and my birthday, I treated myself to a stay at The Four Seasons Hotel. Because I’ve heard of so many people going to Maui and staying at The Four Seasons, I had to try it for myself. They offer complimentary activities and shuttle service as well. I intentionally checked into the hotel super early at 7:30am so that I could join their beach yoga class. My room wasn’t ready, but that was okay because I wanted to take full advantage of their amenities. I got lei-d as soon as I arrived. After yoga, I changed into my swimsuit, picked up an iced matcha latte, and headed back to the beach. The Four Seasons offer beach chairs to their guests. Though I didn’t really need a chair because I spent the entire time in the ocean! It was so lovely! Then at the last minute, there was a cancellation for their last outrigger canoe tour of the day. I just happened to run into them getting ready to embark. This complimentary activity was listed on their schedule, but it mistakenly said Mon-Fri only. I was lucky to catch them when I did! It was so fun! We rowed around the coast, saw some sea turtles swim by us, and then stopped to snorkel. One of the guides, played ukulele and sang to us. I love ukulele. It’s so romantic.

My room was still not ready by noon, so I got a cabana by the pool and ordered lunch. My server was so wonderful and accommodating. I wanted to try everything, but it would be too much food. So he got me half portions. I wanted wings and their signature salad, but was also pondering their Wagyu Yasoba noodles with bok choy and shiitake mushrooms. My server said he can make anything half portion for me to try and he comped my whole meal because it was my birthday! I thought he meant he was going to comp one cocktail, but he comped the entire bill! What a sweetie! And there I was eating buffalo wings with my hands—probably the most unrefined thing to eat at a luxury resort! But that was what my belly wanted on my birthday: good bad food, if that makes any sense. With pina coladas, which were amazing! I was living the life! I have never been a resort girl, but staying at The Four Seasons resort in Maui is an entirely different experience. Although I’m sure it’s on par with it’s neighbors like The Andaz, The Grand Wailea, and The Fairmont, but I felt it was more manageable and not as overwhelmingly huge. That day, I decided I do like resorts and I love when cute men wait on me, ready to accommodate my every need. I could do this more often. I should do this more often. Side note: The Four Seasons has only 2 pools and the adult pool fills up fast. You need to reserve beds with shade in advance via a waitlist, otherwise there won’t be space. It was fully packed when I got there around 11:30am so I stayed in the main pool area where there were some kids. Not a big deal, but the adult pool had swim up bars and a view. I heard the Andaz has multiple infinity style pool options.

My room was not ready until 2pm, and by then, I was so exhausted from, you know, relaxing all morning. I just wanted to shower and curl up in bed. The Four Seasons gave me a complimentary upgrade from their Mountainside room to their Deluxe Garden-view. There was Hawaiian music playing in the bathroom when I entered. The room was spacious with a couch area and a balcony. I wish I could have stayed in the room longer, lounging in my robe, sitting on the balcony, but I only had enough time to shower and then had to get ready for a sunset cocktail pre-dinner.

I ordered an espresso martini at the bar at Ferraro’s (on their lower floor, closer to the beach) and it was probably one of the best I’ve had! I think because they topped it with cinnamon. I loved that they served olives and crispy chickpeas with their cocktails. The bar is facing away from the beach, so you have to turn to watch the sunset or eat dinner on their patio. I had debated having my birthday dinner at Ferraro’s, but had decided on Spago’s instead because I have enjoyed Wolfgang Puck’s other restaurants. I’m sure Ferraro’s is good, but I’m so particular about Italian food and I didn’t see anything on the menu that I felt drawn to. But I enjoyed my cocktail, snacks, and the vibe so much that it made me second-guess my decision.

Spago’s is located on their lobby level, which is technically their 2nd floor up from the beach. The bar area does not have a view. I think there could be a nice view at sunset if you dine al fresco and are seated on the beach-facing side of the restaurant. But the sun sets so early now at 5pm-5:30pm that it’s really hard to catch the sunset without eating dinner early because most bars are indoors and not facing the view. You can only get a good view if you are seated at a dinner table. My dinner resy was way after sunset and they sat me at a table on the side of the patio that faces the pool. The vibe didn’t feel as social as Ferraro’s. At Ferraro’s, as soon as you walk into the outdoor space, the lively bar is right there, upfront. At Spago’s, the bar area is sort of to the left and hidden. You bypass it entirely when you walk into the restaurant. The layout did not feel as cohesive or welcoming. I got a lychee martini and the martini didn’t even have a lychee in it! I was bit disappointed by the cocktail. I got a Lobster Ceviche with papaya salad, ahi tuna cones, and tagliatelle with local mushrooms. The lobster dish was my favorite. The cones were a bit sweet and the tagliatelle could have used more salt. It was good and I enjoyed my meal, but it wasn’t amazing. I prefer Wolfgang’s Merois in Los Angeles. I think that Ferraro’s would have been a more fun choice. Next time!

On my last morning in Maui, I woke up early to take full advantage of the beach. I wanted to get my toes wet and walk on the sand one last time. I had breakfast at Duo’s, which is a seafood and steakhouse at The Four Seasons. They offer a breakfast buffet for $57, but I ordered a la carte. It’s worth it to do buffet if you want to order coffee, juice, or pastries because one entree is already $34 before you add on extras so you might as well pay $57 and get everything. I am not really a breakfast girl, but because I was flying out that afternoon, I needed to eat before heading to the airport. FYI. Maui airport is small and there’s no Delta Sky Club Lounge, so do not get there earlier than an hour. My flight was at 1:30pm and I got to the airport before 12pm and it felt like I was too early. Spend every last minute soaking in the beach vibes before you leave! Also, I want to note that Duo’s does not have a good bar area either. It’s a bit disappointing that The Four Season’s doesn’t have many fun bar area options on-site in Wailea, except for Ferraro’s, but that’s not enough space for a hotel of their size. They have the lobby lounge, but it’s usually busy and packed and you need to get on a waitlist.

I think a short trip to Maui is a great weekend escape. However, if you’ve never been before, you’d probably want to spend at least 5 days there, rent a car, and book an AirBnB. It can be a lot of driving, but there is so much beauty on the island. You’d want to dedicate a day to driving the road to Hana yourself or doing a tour, stopping at the bamboo forest, black sanded beach, and waterfalls along the way. I would also recommend going on a boat tour, either a day snorkeling tour or a sunset tour. Some people drive to the top of the volcano to watch the sunset, but it is a bit of an early drive so I have yet to experience it. Another day option would be to explore Paia town and beach. I remember it being beautiful because of it’s white sand, but the waves were strong and there was a dip from the sand into the water. It was quiet though and not as touristy, which was nice. I think experiencing a traditional luau is a must. It’s a little pricey, but it is a lovely Hawaiian experience with a buffet dinner, roasted pig, hula show, live music, and dancing. The one I attended years ago seated you at communal tables with strangers. As I mentioned earlier, South Maui Gardens is a great (budget friendly and commitment friendly) alternative to a luau because you can dine at the food trucks and still get a show.

I really loved my Maui trip. It was such a nice treat to give myself. Wish I could have stayed their longer. It was such a nice indulgence! Now, where should I go next?

Food Tour: San Sebastian & Porto

I know it has been almost a year since I’ve written. It has been weighing heavily on me and I had been mentally beating myself up for having taken this long to write again. I got a new contract/work client and that has consumed most of my year, and sadly, it has taken me away from my passion project. Such is life. Gotta make money to live. But also, I really needed to take a mental health break and do some internal healing.

Anyways, ever since last year’s Euro trips, I had been craving another adventure. Decided to take a much needed vacay and ended up in San Sebastian, Spain and Porto, Portugal. I fell in love with Portugal last year because of my visit to Lisbon. During that trip, I also visited Lagos, but was unable to fit in Porto and it had been on my mind ever since. Then I was inspired by my boss to order a glass of port wine for dessert when we were out at a team dinner back in May. Having that glass of port that night was such a lovely way to end dinner. That moment really solidified my decision to choose Porto as part of my next trip. I mean, I was looking for an excuse to return to Portugal anyway and I had to have port directly from where it came from! Then the reason I decided to add San Sebastian to the trip was because I went on a date to Wolfgang Puck’s Merois in The Pendry Hotel on Sunset and had the most delicious Ube Basque Cheesecake (sidenote: Merois also has a really delicious chocolate vanilla pop on their poolside menu). That cheesecake stayed on my mind for days afterwards. I had to return to Merois three additional times to have more. So of course, that meant I had to travel to the Basque region of Spain to have the original burnt Basque cheesecake! Plus, San Sebastian is known for its concentration of Michelin star restaurants and pintxos (tapas), which is perfect for a food lover like myself.

And now here I am. Back in Los Angeles with post-vacay blues. It was really fun, but it wasn’t easy to coordinate the two cities together. I flew into Paris for a layover, hopped onto another plane to Bilbao, and then took a 1.5 hour bus ride to San Sebastian. To get to Porto, I took a 1.5 hour bus ride back to Bilbao and flew to Madrid for a layover before finally arriving in Porto. It took me awhile to commit to this trip mainly because of the layovers and buses involved. I prefer direct flights to destinations. I didn’t want to deal with the hassle. But a lot of places worth visiting are not the easiest to get to.

San Sebastian was really charming. I stayed at two different hotels. I like to experience different neighborhoods and I also like to break up the cost of accommodations by staying at a really nice place and then somewhere a bit more budget friendly. I stayed at Sansebay and Lasala Plaza Hotel. Both were great locations by the wharf, but of course, Lasala was the better stay. This luxury boutique hotel has a rooftop pool and my room had a balcony with a beautiful view of the port and the beach. Staff was so friendly and helpful. I didn’t like the narrow pillows though and I would recommend you ask to switch it out.

What I loved most about San Sebastian was going pintxos bar-hopping! Some of the restaurants were a little chaotic though, so I would recommend going on the earlier end. These light bites were so affordable. What was even more shocking is that wine is only about $3 euros! Cheaper than ordering water! My pintxos meals with wine were sometimes only $16 euros total. Pintxos were generally $2-$6 each. Larger plates were relatively more expensive like $14-$20 euros each. I really enjoyed Ganbara (an Anthony Bourdain recommendation) and Sirimiri for pintxos. I stopped by La Vina, where the original burnt Basque cheesecake was invented, and I didn’t really love it. It was a bit too creamy for me. So maybe I prefer the updated variations of it more than the original.

I also wanted to take advantage of trying a Michelin star restaurant in San Sebastian because it’s so much less expensive in Europe than in the USA. I tried my first 2-star Michelin restaurant Amelia and it was definitely an experience. People were presenting me with dishes and talking me through each one in length, serving me, and approaching me from all angles. Out of nowhere, someone would appear from behind me and in front of me at the same time to switch out utensils and plating or to ask me something. This made it very difficult to take all my photos and videos in peace lol. It was a little too much attention for me, personally. In terms of the food, I must admit, I didn’t enjoy it. I had high expectations because it was supposedly seafood focused with Italian and Japanese influences, cuisines that I love. While there was definitely a lot of fresh seafood, it wasn’t served with flavors that matched my preference. The only Italian dish was the cheese ravioli with chunks of chopped oysters in the sauce, which to me is such an odd pairing. Their lobster dish had very generous portions and I usually love lobster, but it tasted like raw poached lobster without much flavor even though it was served in a sauce. Perhaps the flavors were too delicate and subtle for my palate. I really enjoyed the champagne and dessert though, but there wasn’t a dish that really stood out to me. They kept offering me additional items verbally without showing me a menu so I had mistakenly thought these additional items were included, but they were all extra charges. So be careful. This was a pretty expensive 16-course meal. I went for lunch and couldn’t eat again until the next day. I was uncomfortably too full!

My favorite meal in San Sebastian was at Old Town Coffee House. This may sound odd, but I LOVED their breakfast toast called The Lot. It had avocado, crushed tomato, Iberian ham, black sesame, touch of lime, olive oil, with garlic-parsley sauce on sourdough bread. I’m not usually a bread person, but I enjoyed all the bread I had in San Sebastian. Their tomatoes are so flavorful. In the U.S., I feel like a lot of tomatoes are bland. Plus, the Iberian ham! So good! I didn’t know the difference between Iberian ham, prosciutto, and Serrano ham, but now I do. You know Iberian ham in the U.S. is $150/lb?!?! Insane. I loved the toast so much that I came back the next day for more and it was still just as good.

On my last night, I stopped by The Blind Pig for a cocktail. Loved the charming vibe of this speakeasy. Beautiful cocktails served with wasabi seaweed chips. I really liked these chips and I need to find them here!

All in all, I thought San Sebastian was charming and cute. Pintxos bar hopping was really fun. The bay is beautiful, but I wouldn’t come here for the beach. The beach is just surrounded by tourists, boats, and buildings. It felt like a beach in the city. San Sebastian is small and there’s not a ton to do. I stayed 3 nights and that might have been too much, but I just felt since it was annoying to get to, might as well stay longer to relax and not have to bop around. I think if you traveled to the surrounding countryside or to Rioja valley for wine tasting, it might be worth it to stay longer. While food was fairly inexpensive, I found that the nicer hotels were more expensive here because it’s a beach-type destination. In addition, I must mention that they have a really good 2-floor Zara, which is 40% cheaper than in the U.S.A. My visit also unintentionally coincided with their regatta celebrations, so old town became like a huge, dirty frat party on my last day with broken bottles and trash everywhere.

Next stop: Porto. I didn’t know what to expect with Porto because I loved Lisbon so much last year. I wasn’t sure it could top Lisbon. From all my research, it seems like there is a rivalry between Lisbon and Porto much like San Francisco and Los Angeles and I think that’s part of the reason it took awhile before I decided it was worth taking a trip to Porto. Again, I stayed at two different hotels—Hotel Moon & Sun and Portobay Flores. Portobay Flores was my splurge (and it was nicer and less expensive than my luxury hotel in San Sebastian although San Sebastian had the better view) and it was fantastic. It’s located in an old historic building (felt like an old castle) that use to belong to a wealthy Portuguese family. It’s based on Rua das Flores shopping street, not far from Ribeira and the bridge. The staff was so attentive and helpful. The hotel scent was seductive. My room had black out curtains, which allowed for the best sleep. The chocolate they left on my bedside during turndown service was delish. I ate the entire jar of complimentary sugar cookies that was on my reading table. I was welcomed with a very generous pour of my choice of welcome drink.

To my surprise, Porto was very congested. So many tourists. There was construction all over the city, which is a huge eye sore at every turn. However, Porto had the most beautiful sunset over the river with a great view from the Ponte Luis bridge and Jardim do Morro. The park was filled with people lounging, picnicking, and enjoying the live music while watching the sunset. That was probably my favorite part of Porto proper. That and probably all the pasteis de natas I ate at Manteigaria. Manteigaria has a few locations. I liked the one at Delta Coffee House by Bolhao Market. You can get some pasteis de natas with a coffee (or my preference, a matcha) with other light breakfast options. I visited the Sao Bento Station (quick walk and visit from the hotel) which also has a Time Out market, stopped by the Bolhao Market (the concierge at Portobay Flores did not recommend I eat there even though some blogs encourage it), visited the Chapel of Souls, shopped on Rua das Flores (there’s a Portuguese tshirt shop called Typographia that I liked along with some great port wine shops) and Rua Santa Catarina, and walked along the touristy Ribeira by the water. I ate at Flow (fun, lively, big), Boa Bao (Asian fusion), Alibi by Yours Porto (small and charming wine bar), Cantina 32 (lively modern boho, across from Portobay Flores), and Elemento (upscale) restaurants. All very good. The Michelin recommended Elemento was a special treat on my last night and it was so delicious. I was impressed. Every dish resonated with my palate and it made me happy. Some other places I would have loved to try are Gruto (Michelin recommended, women run), Mistu, and Say Cheesecake! & Co (for brunch). I went to the highly reviewed and popular Zenith for breakfast one day, but I didn’t really like it. I would have preferred a casual morning bite at Delta Coffee House or the busy cafe near the hotel called Floresta Cafe by the Hungry Biker.

My favorite part of my Porto trip was my day trip to Duoro Valley for wine tasting via BL Heritage tours. BL Heritage tours was a little pricier than the other group tours you would find on Viator or Get Your Guide, but I think it was worth it because it was more intimate. Instead of a big bus group of 20-40 people, it hosted small groups of about 8 people in a luxury van. At some points of the tour, we joined a couple of their other small groups, but for the majority of the day, it was just the seven of us plus the tour guide. The 1.5 hour drive was beautiful. They offered us water bottles. Our tour started with a 1 hour boat ride along the Duoro River. On the boat, we were served a port wine spritz with snacks while being given a history lesson on the origins of port wine. Then we continued onto a beautiful vista point (Casal Deloivos). Our guide gave us pasteis de natas to munch on while we took in the gorgeous views of the valley and posed for pictures. From there we visited our first vineyard Quinta da Foz, where we got a tour of their property along with an outdoor wine tasting. Next, we had lunch at Quinta do Buchiero vineyard and were served a traditional Portuguese meal along with a wine pairing. It was the most beautiful day with the best tour guide and company.

As always, check out my Instagram @loveinmybelly for food pics. Now back to reality and back to work. Where should I go next?

Fall in Paris

France has been a huge part of my life. I studied abroad in the French countryside when I was 19. I visited my French cousins who grew up there. My first job in fashion sent me to France and other parts of Europe. After my mother’s marriage to my stepfather, I also gained three French stepbrothers who grew up in France. But it has been awhile since I’ve visited. I haven’t been back to Paris since my eldest stepbrother’s wedding in 2018. Then pandemic happened and I was weary about traveling so far abroad up until this year when I traveled to Italy and Portugal in April and decided I felt comfortable traveling again. One of my stepbrothers had a baby last month and my parents planned to visit. At the last minute, I decided to join them briefly so that I could see my French family and take my parents out to a Michelin-star dinner in Paris. They deserved it. Plus, how often do you get to take your parents out to dinner in Paris?

Prior to going to Paris, there were a lot of articles circulating about bed bugs in the city of love. This made me nervous because I booked a budget hotel in the 5th district to save money. It turned out to be basic and clean, but too small. I had a single bed and had to walk around it to get from my suitcase to the bathroom. The walls were thin and I could hear so much noise starting at 6am, the time that I would start to fall back asleep because of my jet-lag. I could never get comfortable with the thought of bed bugs in my mind. As a result, my sleep was horrible the entire trip. I was so tired and sleep-deprived, especially after walking 5-7 miles a day. I didn’t intend to walk that much. It just happened. I Ubered when I needed to, but there was so much traffic that it took forever to get anywhere.

On a positive note, I loved not having a real schedule or itinerary for this trip. I have visited Paris many times before, so there weren’t any must-see sights for me. Usually, I’m an extreme planner when traveling. This time, the only things on my list was to take my parents to Michelin-star restaurant Frenchie and to see my French stepbrothers. It was nice to have time to leisurely stroll through the city, peruse the markets, and shop. I never have time to shop when I travel! I took breaks during my long walks to stop for champagne and a snack or tea and Nutella crepes. It was lovely. However, I did not enjoy the temperature dropping after my first two days there. I am not made for cold weather.

On my first night in Paris, I decided to roam around the city and then grab drinks and dinner in the 11th district. I was hoping to wait in line for dinner at Clamato, sister restaurant of Michelin-star restaurant Septime. I had originally tried to get reservations for Septime, but it was impossible. As I waited for Clamato to open, I got drinks at Septime La Cave, their wine bar. I met an American expat who had a hookup at Septime and was able to get me a seat for dinner that night. Because I was curious about all the hype surrounding this restaurant, I immediately took him up on his offer. I was so jet-lagged though and was falling asleep at dinner. Seven courses is a lot of dishes to sit through when you’re tired. Septime had a lovely vibe, but I must say, I think it is completely overrated. The dishes were very veggie-forward, which is great, I love veggies. But I didn’t think it was worth the price tag, impossible reservations, and hype. The next night, I took my parents to the Michelin-star restaurant Frenchie. My parents and I enjoyed it very much! It was supposed to be five courses, but with all the little extras, it turned out to be twelve! The plating and presentation was beautiful. A lot more intricate than Septime. The dishes felt more elevated with a mixture of seafood, including lobster tail, duck, sauces, and multiple parts to each course. I highly recommend Frenchie over Septime.

I visited La Grande Epicurie in Saint Germain district. It’s a five floor gourmet market with artisanal food items, produce, seafood, butcher shop, wine shop, and kitchenware. It was heaven. So many goodies! I love how Europe has so many mini bottles and jars of everything. So cute! I wanted to buy everything. Definitely a must-do for foodies visiting Paris. I walked by Bread & Roses, a charming bakery/cafe, and wanted to stop there but didn’t get a chance. I would add this to my list for next time.

My youngest stepbrother hosted Sunday brunch. His wife made a feast for us. Cooking and an appreciation for food runs in our family. She loves to cook and is also a very skilled baker. She made everything from scratch. That same stepbrother and his wife also took me and my parents out to lunch at a Chinese restaurant called La Taverne de Zhao Opera that I really liked. They had great dumplings and noodles.

I can’t go too long without Asian food so I found myself seeking Asian food after only two days in Paris. There is such a thing as overindulgence and I felt that after my first two nights of Michelin-star dinners. My stomach was tired of eating and I just wanted comfort food, which for me is rice, soup, or noodles. I’m not that into bread and there are only so much tartines, croissants, and pastries that I could eat. I stopped at The Hood for Hainanese chicken and rice and Mirama for a bowl of Chinese wonton noodle soup. Mmmhmm. Just what my belly craved.

When I originally booked the trip, I felt guilty. I had already been to Europe earlier this year and I have my birthday trip planned for next month. But I had the time and time is currency you can’t get back. I’m happy that I took the opportunity to visit my family in Paris and spend more time with my parents because those experiences are priceless.

Hello Again!

Oh my goodness. I cannot believe I have not written a blog post since April! It has been awhile. I guess I just needed to take a little time (or a lot of time) for my mental health. After having a breakdown in March/April, it took awhile for me to pick myself up again. It’s not something that happens in a day. Or even a week or a month. There’s not one thing that makes it go away. And sometimes the things that have worked before don’t work anymore. It’s a process. A journey.

Since I have last written, there have been a few things that I have done to get myself back to a better place. I indulged and splurged on a spa day at the Belair Hotel with a couple friends. It was so lovely. The massage was wonderful and so were the amenites that came with it. Before and after your massage, you can relax in their lounge room or patio with tea or champagne and snacks. We lunched al fresco at the Wolfgang Puck restaurant at the hotel afterwards. The Belair Hotel feels like a little retreat away from the city because of the pond and lush greens that surround it. I definitely want to do this again and should probably do it more often.

I joined an Empowered Women’s Group that meets weekly. It comforting to be a part of a group that is committed to self-improvement and self-development and is also supportive and compassionate. I went on a weekend trip to Palm Springs with a friend and indulged in the accommodations and really good restaurants. I started checking off LA restaurants, concerts, and activities that were on my to-do/explore list. I read a new book called What Happened to You? that is partly written by Oprah. It explores the effects of trauma. I did some light exercises. All of this slowly brought me some joy. And it felt good to feel good again.

I had also returned to Boston in May to see my mother. I was really nervous about that trip because I just wasn’t sure I could handle the emotions, stress, and everything involved in her recovery after having had such a hard time in February and March, which led to the my breakdown. She seemed better though. Not the same, but I witnessed small glimpses of her old self and that gave me some relief.

Then in July, I got Covid. Most likely the BA.5 variant and it hit me hard. Fever of 102 for 3 days. Achiness, strained voice, sore throat, lack of appetite, and fatigue for 3 weeks. After quarantining for 10 days, I still had low energy and sounded horrible. To be isolated for that long, alone, while physically suffering really made me regress. People talk about the physical effects of Covid all the time but I was not prepared for what it did to me mentally. It was lonely, isolating, depressing, and took me to a dark, negative place again. The only positive that came out of Covid for me was that I was so bored that I learned how to solve a Rubik’s cube. This had been on my to-do list after seeing my stepdad do it. It’s a more spiritual experience than one may think. Solving the cube involves creativity, patience, pushing through resistance, taking a few steps back to move forward, taking many steps that don’t make sense in the moment but make sense later, feeling like you aren’t progressing but you know that you are, problem solving in different scenarios, and focusing on just the next step instead of being overwhelmed by the entire problem at once. It’s a good distraction and does take your mind off things momentarily.

So now, I’m back there again. Trying to pick myself up. Today is the first day that my voice feels almost back to normal but I still feel like I have something in my throat. Progress! I just returned from a weekend in Colorado for a bachelorette party, which I probably shouldn’t have gone to in the first place because even though I was Covid negative, I still wasn’t feeling my best yet. So now, I’m completely worn out and my introverted self needs some alone time. I think I need to take myself out on a solo date this weekend and do some things that might bring me joy. I’m a tortured introvert though—I want alone time but then I feel lonely and also want to be social. It’s an ongoing inner conflict. Can anyone relate?

Ok I need to write more often. Hopefully, you will get some positive updates from me soon or at the very least, new recipes!

Recovery

Sometimes you need to break down to build up and heal. It has been the worst last two months. With everything that happened with my mom, life has been so stressful. Now that she’s home from the hospital and on the mend, and I’m back in LA, I thought the pressure that had been building up inside of me was going to subside. But it didn’t. It continued to build and build and there was no escape.

And then last week, I felt like I was going to explode and have a mental break down. I didn’t know what to do. I felt backed into a corner and I just wanted the pain to go away. Upon my return to LA, I had overbooked myself with brand and restaurant partnerships, along with my regular consulting work, on top of checking in on my mother multiple times a day, joining her doctor appointment calls, and coordinating appointments for her medical care. It was all too much after already an extremely heavy and stressful last five weeks. It felt never ending, like there was no break, no end in sight. This was just my life. And I couldn’t handle it anymore.

I decided I needed a day off of all responsibilities. I couldn’t even handle receiving text messages, let alone responding to them. I couldn’t handle looking at social media. I couldn’t focus on work. I couldn’t function period. Every little thing felt like extra weight on my back and I was about to break. So I took a Friday sick/mental health day, hoping that it would solve my problems. But I didn’t utilize it to do anything that would bring me joy or provide a release. I wanted to do something with my day, but I just couldn’t make a decision, function properly, or process anything. I wanted to get a massage but I couldn’t figure out where and the masseuse I liked wasn’t available. I wanted to go on a hike but I couldn’t get myself off my couch and out of the apartment. Then I felt annoyed with myself for not making use of my sick day to do anything that would bring me joy. One day off did not fix my problems overnight or bring me any sort of comfort like I thought it would.

That weekend, I did my own nails, which I hadn’t done in two months. I got a haircut the next day, which I hadn’t done in over a year. My hair stylist moved out of town and I was forced to try a new person at the salon. Even though he cut off some dead weight, he did not give me the cut I wanted. Beauty treatments didn’t work to lift my spirits either.

And I really didn’t do much else with the weekend that followed my sick day. Maybe I just needed to ride out the wave of negative emotions. Then this week, things slowed down. My various work commitments decreased and there were no doctor appointments for Mom this week. I also didn’t check in with her as much. I have to remind myself that she will be okay even if I don’t check in with her three times a day. I’ve been my mother’s main caregiver for the last five weeks straight and I had seen her everyday during her hospitalization. It was hard for me to leave Boston. It was hard for me to leave her. I think a part of me has still been scared and worried about her so it has been difficult for me to let go of all the responsibilities of caregiving and not check in with her multiple times a day. This has been at the added expense of me not taking care of myself though. But she’ll be okay, even if I’m not available for every moment in her continued recovery. Even if I don’t know what she’s eating for every single meal. Maybe there aren’t any quick and easy fixes right now, but reducing some of the commitments in all areas of my life, including my mother’s care, helped relieve some of the pressure. Hopefully, this will create space for me to be able to receive and feel joy again from some of my usual acts of self-care. This will be my first weekend back in LA without any sort of work commitments. I finally have an appointment with the masseuse I like this coming Sunday. I had been wanting to get a massage for months. I think I will try to go on a solo hike tomorrow to get out in nature and clear my head. Maybe I’ll even make myself something good to eat. I’m inviting joy back into my life again. And I am ready to receive.

Time

You can't buy time, turn back time, stop time, speed up time, or slow down time. When it comes to the people you love, there is never enough time. Life is strange and things can change in a matter of seconds. To say that the last two weeks have been tough is an understatement. It has been one of the scariest and most challenging moments in my life. My mom is my most favorite person in the world and to see her in pain, in critical condition, broke my heart. Her condition has slowly improved over the last few days and she's showing progress but it's still early. I pray every day and every night that my mother will have a full recovery.

That first day I saw her in Neuro ICU after her operation was horrible. I saw my mom at her weakest. It was tough. I had to be brave and strong for her but inside, I wanted to break down and cry. It’s difficult to see someone you love in that condition. I have been visiting my mom in the hospital everyday for the last two weeks for 4-5 hours at a time. I have been updating my sisters and my family every night, but they didn’t have to see her. They didn’t see her frail and bruised body, the tubes that went into her nose and down her throat, the needles that went into her veins, the bandages or the 50 staples in her head. They didn’t hear her weak, barely audible voice, her complaints of pain, discomfort, and fear or her pleas for food and water. She was so uncomfortable in the hospital and there wasn’t much I could do. I was helpless.

I could not eat, sleep, or function that first week. But I had to put on a brave face for her and for my stepfather who needed to lean on me. But the thing is, I needed someone to lean on too. I couldn’t keep all of this stress, worry, and fear in. It’s not part of my parent’s culture to ask for help, to talk about family matters. One of the things I realized I needed this year is a community and a community does not have to be just family. My mother has never taught me how to build a community because it’s not part of her culture. But I’m learning now, it is something I need to do for myself despite our cultural differences on this matter. My stepfather does not like me accepting help, but I need help. I can’t do all of this on my own. Working reduced hours (and making reduced income) and checking in with the hospital every morning, making my stepfather lunch, heading off to the hospital every afternoon for 4-5 hours, making my stepfather dinner at his regularly scheduled time, then updating my sisters and uncles every night, and then keeping my stepfather company before he goes to bed. By the end of the day, I am exhausted. I can’t think about food at a time like this and I barely have had time to go to the grocery store. I don’t know what to cook to feed my stepfather. If it were me alone, I’d eat a cup of noodles or a frozen meal just to get by. But my stepfather can’t function that way. I’ve accepted meals from an old friend and from my mom’s friend. My stepfather doesn’t want to burden anyone. Culturally, we are clashing in how we handle a situation like this but I need help or I can’t be strong for him or for my mom. I can’t do it all on my own. I’m going to break.

Then this week, my mom turned a corner and started regaining her strength. She was finally able to start eating again. I was able to bring her food from home, which makes all the difference. Her swallowing wasn’t perfect but it was improving. How do they expect people to heal in a hospital if they are being given horrible food? Eating homemade Cambodian food made a huge difference for my mom and I was so happy that I could help her in that way. After two weeks in the hospital, she was finally discharged and is now in rehab. She is more comfortable and wearing her own warm clothes that I brought for her from home. She seems stronger but she still struggles with daily tasks. She gets frustrated and impatient with herself because she can’t function the way she used to it. It’s going to take some time for my mom to heal but I’m praying for a full and speedy recovery so that she can come home soon.

November Birthday in Oaxaca!

Each year, I try to plan a new adventure for my birthday. Usually international with the exception of last year, pre-vaccine. It softens the blow of getting older and helps me reframe the occasion to be a more joyous one. Once September hits, I get that back-to-school fall feeling even though I have not been in school in years. That nervousness of starting a new chapter, not knowing what to expect. That anticipation of the cold and dark winter coming. And that looming birthday, which marks the end of my personal year and forces me reaccess my life. Travel (and vacation) gives me something to look forward to and helps me get my mind off the stresses of adulthood. After such an amazing road trip to Valle de Guadalupe this past June, I decided to return to Mexico and explore Oaxaca. Many Californians like to visit Cabo, Playa del Carmen, and Puerto Vallarta, but I’m not really a beach resort type girl and I’m not a fan of the super touristy spots. I love quaint little towns, countrysides, nature, small little beach destinations, and boutique or unique accommodations.

My friend in Missouri joined me on my annual birthday adventure and we met up in Mexico City. If you’re meeting your friend at the airport in Mexico City, make sure you know your arrival terminal. We arrived at different terminals and it took us awhile to find each other. She had to take the tram from Terminal 1 to meet me in Terminal 2 and it took an hour to wait in line for a taxi. Make sure you purchase a taxi ticket and wait in line first thing. Traffic in Mexico City is pretty bad. Also, another tip. If you travel to Mexico in November, it’s super cold at night! Pack warm clothes. Except for a couple hours in the afternoon, most of the time, we were freezing! I packed mostly dresses! It felt colder than what the temperatures showed.

We only had a couple days in the city so I can’t say we had that much time to really explore the city other than visit some delicious restaurants—Cha Cha Terraza, Contramar, Quintonil, and Gin Gin—and take a boat ride at the Xochimilco canals. Cha Cha Terraza had a fun lively vibe for dinner and drinks on their upstairs terrace. Contramar had great seafood. Gin Gin is a great bar/lounge down the street from Contramar and has really good cocktails and music. Quintonil is super upscale with an option for a tasting menu. Even though Quintonil is a special culinary experience, it was a little stuffy. Indoors. No vibe. No ambiance. It was also expensive for Mexico standards. You could get an amazing meal at a more fun restaurant for half the price or less. We also stopped at Cafe Toscana next door to Buna cafe in Roma North for a snack and glass of wine mid-afternoon one day and both places were really cute.

In Mexico City, we first stayed at the Sofitel in Cuauhtémoc, which felt like downtown. Even though the area is close to Condesa and Roma North, it was very busy and not as nice. We also stayed at The Orchid House Hotel in Polanco, which I loved because it’s small and boutique. Polanco is Mexico City’s upscale neighborhood. It’s quaint, charming, and walkable. I would definitely stay here again. I had previously wanted to stay at Brick Hotel in Roma North, which is also a cute area, but the rooms were all booked. If you prefer the big hotels, but want to stay in Polanco, you could do The W or The Intercontinenal.

From Mexico City, we flew to Oaxaca. It is a short 1 hour flight. And just as I imagined, Oaxaca was amazing! So quaint and charming! Arts and crafts sold by street vendors. Markets with an array of textile, leather handbags, hats, and jewelry. Cobblestone roads. Decorative flags lined the street. Colorful buildings with beautiful exterior artwork. Old churches. Boutique hotels, delicious food, and great cocktails. Every meal we had was better than the last. I was in heaven!

One thing to note is that I made the majority of the restaurant reservations about two months in advance. Thinking that it would be warmer in Oaxaca, I chose many outdoor rooftop venues for dinner. While Oaxaca was hot during the day, it was even colder than Mexico City at night. Some of the places had heat lamps but they weren’t always working. On two different nights, a couple restaurants mentioned that they ran out of gas for the lamps, which made eating very uncomfortable. I would recommend dressing very warm or doing the rooftop spots during the day for lunch to enjoy the view.

We dined at Los Danzantes, Tierra del Sol, Casa Oaxaca, Criollo, and The Terrace on top of Hotel Los Amantes. While the food was good at all the restaurants, my favorites were Casa Oaxaca and Criollo. Criollo was where I had my birthday dinner and it was super special! The chef from Mexico City’s world renowned Pujol is part of the Criollo team. The only option at this restaurant is to enjoy their 6 course surprise tasting menu, which included a variety of Oaxacan dishes. Each plate was artfully presented and delicious! Casa Oaxaca was a pleasant surprise for lunch. They have rooftop dining. I loved the fresh table-side salsa, the sweet potato wrapped squash blossoms, the agua chile, and their corn-flan dessert. I had never had a CORN flan dessert before and I loved it! Tierra del Sol has a nice rooftop terrace view. They had really good tacos de lechon with chicharron wrapped up in what looked like a banana leaf. It was so good that we came back the next day on my birthday for lunch! The other dishes weren’t as good but we could have ordered the wrong items since they didn’t have an English menu. One thing I learned on this trip is that I love chicharron on everything! I ordered soup several times while in Oaxaca and it often included chicharron in the soup with Oaxacan string cheese, which is also very delicious. Downstairs in the same building of Tierra del Sol, there’s a little cafe that sells Atole, which is a soothing hot corn and masa based beverage that Oaxacans often drink for breakfast or at night. It comes in different flavors. Try it! It’s interesting and different. I liked it. Los Danzantes also served really good food. That’s where we dined on our first night in Oaxaca. But that Sunday night, it was really quiet. We had tortilla soup, mahi mahi and fresh garden tomato ceviche, and fresh short rib pasta.

Upstairs from Los Danzantes is their partner speakeasy bar called Selva. There’s no sign. The entrance is roped off with a man guarding the doorway. The bar is super charming with prohibition era vibes. Cocktails were pretty and carefully curated. Another bar we enjoyed was Sabina Sabe, which is a lot more casual but has great music and good cocktails. They serve food as well but we didn’t get a chance to try any. The rooftop at Hotel Los Amantes has great views for a sunset drink. They have a small bar downstairs that we liked as well. I think I ordered a mezcal cocktail with pineapple everyday in Oaxaca.

Aside from eating really well, I did a group tour to Hierve el Agua. Helpful tip: exchange your dollars for pesos. You will need it for the entrance fee, for the group buffet lunch, and also for mezcal purchases at the distillery (they have a high minimum for credit card purchases). The tour lasted all day because they include a few stops including a mezcal tasting, which I thoroughly enjoyed. Because of land disputes, we had to take the unpaved, bumpy road up the mountain to get to the pools. Once you get to the entrance/parking lot, you have the option of hiking 45 minutes down to see the petrified waterfalls or just going straight to the pools. Going down was not a huge problem but it was a little exhausting coming back up because of all the steps. It definitely gets you all heated up and ready to jump in the pools. But if you just want to take cute pictures and relax, skip the hike and just go straight to the pools and then you won’t have to worry about packing hiking clothes and sneakers along with your bathing suit and towel. The view was beautiful. Bonus: I made a few new friends on the tour because I went solo. My friend didn’t want to wake up at 7am to join the tour.

My friend and I stayed in 2 different hotels during our time in Oaxaca. The first few nights we stayed at Grana B&B, which is very quaint and quiet and the staff is so accommodating. We had a suite with 2 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms, which was nice. Breakfast was included and is made to order and it was delicious. I don’t normally love yogurt but the yogurt was really good! Yogurt anywhere outside of the U.S. is really good, in my opinion. The location was central. We also stayed one night at Hotel Los Amantes, which has the most beautiful rooftop views. Great for sunset drinks and the food was pretty good as well. It’s made up of 2 buildings across from eachother in a central location not far from Grana B&B, with 2 rooftop restaurants, and a small bar downstairs. We stayed in the Cuishe room with 2 queen beds. While the room was nice, the hotel in general is a little loud because of the atrium and rooftop restaurants. But it was convenient to be able to just run upstairs for a cocktail or snack. Breakfast was included there as well and it was pretty good also.

The people of Oaxaca were so welcoming, nice, and helpful. The tourists we befriended were also so friendly. I loved Oaxaca and would definitely visit again! They have direct flights from Los Angeles to Oaxaca on Mexican airlines. I have to say that the best part for me was the food because as you know, I love food! They use grasshopper in a lot of dishes but it’s unrecognizeable. I’m not a huge fan of mole even though it’s a popular dish in this region. Though I did discover that I am a huge fan of chicharron, Oaxacan cheese, and mezcal cocktails. I love their fresh corn tortilla and chips and salsa. I regret that I didn’t get a chance to have churros or hot chocolate while I was in Oaxaca and Mexico City. Check out my Instagram to see all the yummy food I ate!

I can’t wait to see more of Mexico. I want to visit Guadalajara, the town of Tequila, San Miguel, Matzalan, and maybe Puerto Escondido next. This vacation was such a nice reset. I felt like I was fully able to unplug from work and the stresses of life. It has been such a long time since I’ve been on a week long trip that did not involve any sort of work. Weekend road trips don’t count because you get those days off anyways. I’m already looking forward to another vacay. It has been hard for me to focus on work after returning from such a good trip. Plus, we’re right smack in the middle of the holidays. All I want to do is curl up on the couch and watch Christmas movies. This year is flying by too fast. And my post-vacay blues are setting in. I need to plan my next adventure soon. What’s next on your travel list?

The Parents are in Town!

Since I moved back to Los Angeles after my two-year stint living in Hong Kong, my parents have not visited me and it has been almost a decade! This past Labor Day weekend, my mother and stepfather finally came to town, and everything that could go wrong went wrong. No running water, racist attack, and my car died in the middle of Hollywood—all within the first two days of their visit.

A water pipe on my street burst the night before my parents’ arrival and I had no running water for 20 hours! The workers from the LA Department of Water and Power were up all night attempting to fix the issue with no idea when the problem would be fixed. When my parents arrived the next day, I couldn’t bring them home after their long flight because we couldn’t use the toilet, wash our hands, or cook. It’s so easy to take for granted the luxury of running water! I took them to lunch at Din Tai Fung for Taiwanese food and then walked around Century City Mall. After a couple hours, we decided to come home with the game plan of walking to a nearby cafe to hang out when any of us needed to use the bathroom. When we got home, the water still was not fixed. My parents wanted to relax after their plane ride and did not want to have to go out again so we were all hesitant to hydrate. Fortunately after a couple more hours, the water came back on before we had to venture out to find a toilet! Hallelujah! Thank goodness I showered and washed my hair the night before.

On their first night in LA, I took them to one of my old favorite restaurants, Tar & Roses, in Santa Monica. I hadn’t been in 2 years and was excited to be able to share the experience with them. I don’t go out to eat that often anymore because I’m finding that the quality and service has changed a lot since the pandemic and I’m usually disappointed. Of course, it’s even more difficult to impress my parents. They are accustomed to delicious seafood in Boston. The restaurant scene in Boston is amazing, unpretentious, less expensive, and always reliable wherever you go. And the pandemic has not changed that. When I was there recently this past May, I found myself impressed by every single meal I ate out at a restaurant.

And then after dinner, we were victims of a verbal racist attack. As we walked back to my car on Santa Monica Blvd and 5th, a white man pulled at his eyes and yelled, “Hey, hey, you Ch*nk family!” Fortunately, my parents didn’t understand what happened. They didn’t understand what the man said or did. But I understood and my blood boiled. I yelled obscenities at him as he walked away. I explained what happened to my parents and they weren’t upset. Or maybe they were and just didn’t show it. They were probably used to internalizing it. But I don’t want this to be something anyone has to “get used to.” My parents survived a genocide and came to America as refugees searching for a better life and it seems like not much has changed since their early days in this country. My mother has already been through so much in this life and I was so upset that she had to experience racism in LA on her first night visiting me.

The incident was triggering. Made me think of the years of microaggressions and acts of racism that I have experienced my entire life. When someone makes you feel less than one day, sure, maybe you can shrug it off. But how about if someone makes you feel less than every day. Or maybe once a week, once a month. Then multiply that by every year you have lived. And now imagine it’s not just one person making you feel less than all those years. It’s someone at work. Someone at school. Someone at the grocery store. Someone off the street. It’s your neighbor. It’s someone in your friend group. It’s not one person you can avoid. Not one incident. It’s everywhere. Throughout different stages of your life. Happening again and again. What does that do to your mental health over time? What does that do to your sense of worth?

Going into the weekend, I was already feeling fragile with some other things going on in my life and also with everything happening in Afghanistan, which is a reminder of what happened to my parents in Cambodia with the genocide. It’s so sad and upsetting. During the early days of the pandemic, I went on walks often to get out of the house. Then I stopped when the violence against Asian Americans, and particularly the Asian elderly, increased. Only in the last couple months, I had been feeling comfortable enough to go on walks again and then this happened. It’s not something I could just easily shake off.

The next day, I took my parents for a Thai lunch at Hoy Ka in Hollywood. When we walked back to my car afterwards, my car wouldn’t start. I had to call for a tow truck and learned that my car battery was dead. Got a jump start and had to spend our afternoon at Pep Boys waiting to get my battery replaced. This was the 3rd thing that went wrong that weekend. I tried as hard as I could to put on a face so that I wouldn’t worry my parents, but the truth is, I felt so beaten down. I’m sure they noticed. I had no appetite. I couldn’t eat. When we came home, I saged the apartment. My mother superstitiously threw rice and salt over my balcony and did a short prayer with insence. Leading up to my parents’ visit, I had already been stressed for weeks with work and it had been on my mind all weekend. That next day, I collapsed onto my bed and napped for two hours. I never nap but I was so emotionally and mentally exhausted and my body couldn’t hold it in anymore. You can try to act like everything is okay, but your body doesn’t lie. Everything was not okay.

People say things happen in threes. That was it for us that weekend—the broken water pipe, the racist attack, and my dead car battery. We spent the rest of their time in LA cooking, eating, and visiting the Venice Canals and the beach. I’m glad my parents visited me but I’m sure it wasn’t the best trip for them. After I dropped them off at the airport, I felt a huge weight lifted from me. I no longer felt pressure to pretend that everything was okay. I felt like I could sort through all my complicated emotions and thoughts without having to fake it. I felt like I was finally allowed to be exhausted and not have to worry about how that was perceived or how it would affect anyone else.

That same week after much contemplation, I decided to part ways with a client. I realized it was not a good fit for me and it had been negatively affecting my mental health for weeks. Sometimes you have to walk away and let go of things that don’t serve you, as hard as it may be. When I made the decision, I came home and napped for two hours! The next day, I napped again. I’ve never napped so much in ONE week! My body was mentally and emotionally drained. And it took me about 5 days to recover. I am just starting to feel like myself again. I’m slowly coming back to life.

It’s ironic that my last post was about feeling good. As easily and quickly as things can go well, things can all come crashing down at once as well. You have to take the good with the bad. Things can change and turn around in a second. But all experiences are learning experiences and we can’t have one without the other.

I would love to add some new recipes to the blog soon. But for now, I need to take care of my mental health, listen to my body, and give myself a break. In the meantime, check out my Instagram for all the yummy food we ate during my parents’ visit!